When we face a conflict we try to run from it as far as we can. The main goal is to get over it and go back to BAU. But did you ever wonder if the ending could be much better? Or your style wasn’t that appropriate? Maybe a much better deal could come out of it with a different plan?
This post won’t help you to make your battle management style more effective. But first thing first, to get somewhere, you should know, where you are.
So here is a Thomas Killman’s conflict resolution style test that helps you find out your style:
When you give your answers, please concentrate on one area of your life. We use different strategies in different areas so watch out to get an accurate answer.
Results
If you are done with the test, then let’s check what does the strategies mean. Each of them has a positive and negative side so as you can see, there’s no good or bad style. We often change them depending on the situation, our mood, and the importance of the relationship. This test lets you see the one that you use the most in that area.
And why is it important to know? Because if you know your strengths and weaknesses then you can manage your conflicts the way it’s comfortable for you.
Competitor/Rival (high self-assertion, low collaboration)
Problem solver (high self-assertion, high collaboration)
The I’m right strategy
- Main focus: show strength
- Goal: advocacy
The let’s solve it together strategy
- Main focus: others’ well-being
- Goal: maintain the relationship
- fast-paced environments
- going through with unpopular decisions
- kick-start a process
- every perspective is important in the same way so can’t compromise
- everybody is committed at the same level
- feelings play a bigger part in the picture than reasons
- promotes a toxic environment, nobody shares their opinion anymore
- creates uncertainty, nobody asks for help because they’re afraid of the consequences
- bad relationships
- solving basic problems with this style takes much longer time and much more energy
Compromiser (medium self-assertion, medium collaboration)
Avoider (low self-assertion, low collaboration)
I give up something if you give up too strategy
- Main focus: equivalent exchange
- Goal: let everybody win
Let’s do what you want, I don’t care strategy
- Main focus: run
- Goal: maintain the relationship
- goals are on the same importance level but they collide, so there isn’t another option
- the individuals are equally strong and committed
- the relationship is more important
- competing is harmful
- we don’t want to make a decision
- the question is more important for the other party
- meeting our demands isn’t that important
- it’s easy to lose yourself and your goals
- can’t put across dogmas or values
- nobody is satisfied, so it weakens trust
- it harms self-esteem, makes it harder to validate processes and rules
- suggestions and ideas won’t be considered, nobody thinks that there will be any
As you can see every strategy has its perks so there isn’t an ultimate good style. The key to navigate in life is to find the right balance between them. Deciding what is important and letting go of the things that aren’t.
So next time when somebody bumps into you or makes a cheesy comment you can decide which style is appropriate to use or is it worth losing that time.
