Labeling somebody as toxic is very fashionable nowadays. In the last few days, I got every day at least one post with this topic. After reading one I always get the revelation that I’m surely toxic and it’s torture to work with me. If I dig deeper into the article then it turns out that my workplace is toxic and my family, friends and the whole world are toxic too but obviously, I’m perfect except when I’m toxic.
So let’s see what kind of people are toxic
The one that badmouths
Jane is a blabbermouth but I surely am Virgin Mary and I’d never do that. Everybody tries to be nice but sometimes you just have enough. Mostly you can understand and work together but he/she is just so frustrating. On the other side what if he/she is a hindrance. What counts as badmouthing? Maybe that coworker whom you ventilate every day has a good solution to the problem. Going around in the office and tell nasty things isn’t okay. If you catch this in the hallway then it has a reason and it’s best to talk it through or leave. You can be a jackass but you can’t live in a community which you hate from the bottom of your heart.
It’s my favorite. If you have problems just shut up because you are toxic. Maybe your comment has some value or you just need some changes in your life. I think that complaints have a cause or many and if there is one who complains then you can be sure there are many more who just don’t want to be “toxic”. The allday complainer has some serious issues but you can be sure that you can solve it with a one-on-one talk or more than just one.
The one who wants special treatment
Okay. We should add some context. I always think that asking is not bad. I’m kind of shy and an overthinker so I won’t ask for a free ticket for a meetup because why not. It means that I won’t get one but if I asked maybe I got one because why not. I’m sure if something can’t be done then it can’t be done. I have to train myself to ask for things because mostly it’s not a nuisance to others. If you ask for something you will be charged in another way nothing is for free. Don’t be shy and ask for it. At worst they say no and then be a lady and accept it. If you throw a tantrum then you really are a jackass.
Yeah, I’m so egoistic to tell about my projects or my happy moments in my life. Yeah, fuck me. Maybe I’ll influence you to work with me because I have so much fun.
The ones who put you on the defensive
I believe if you have the skills you can turn an attack into a conversation. Practice that skill. It’ll be helpful in your life. If you want to do something memorable then you should learn how to stand up for yourself. Success is not for free.
The ones who make you work to please them
The magic in this is that you should ask a favor for a favor. Don’t work for free. If you feel that you are used then ask for money or other compensation. You should not be a martyr. You should value yourself and take charge of your life. If you feel bad for free work then don’t do it.
The just not interested ones
Okay. Everybody has some moments when a lot going on and can’t concentrate on any other problem. Try to be understanding. Everybody likes to hear his/her voice so try to listen. I respect my friends when they speak about their problems. It means they have trust in me. Obviously, I don’t say that you should like everybody. So try to look at the second impression too and maybe you can make some cool friendships.
They don’t make you feel good
It’s a real deal. If you are unhappy in the presence of somebody then avoid them. Mostly I’m more interested in why I don’t like them than never speak with them but it’s your decision. I have a bad easy judge habit so I always try to overcome it and make friends, but you can just choose the other way and leave them to be.
In the end, I don’t think that toxic people exist. There are bad days and unsolved problems but that doesn’t mean that person is toxic. Mostly I’m just not interested and don’t want to clash our problems.